You can make it
I said: “Sometimes I fail”
He said: “I’ll see you through”
I said: “But what if I fall”
He said: “ I will carry you”
I said: “My fears are great”
He said: “Trust me alone”
I said: “But I am depressed”
He said: “I will cheer you on”
I said “Life isn’t easy”
He said: “Let me Help, remember I love you”
I said: “Lord I accept”
- Perry Tanksley
If there is one thing that describes me it is the above poem by Perry Tanksley. I don’t like to admit that I’m insecure that I always second guess myself. But it is a reality and this keeps me back from doing allot of things, it keeps me back from living the life God has intended for me.
When I read the poem that so frighteningly describes me, I realise by the help of the spirit that I put my faith in people allot. I expect people to see me through, I expect people to carry me through the tough times. I put my trust in people and I expect people to cheer me up. That is allot of trust I put in people, when they, sometimes just like me, looking for someone to safe them.
But Today, God has showed me and I have allowed myself to see it, that I should put all my wants and needs in Him. That I should not fear, for He is with me, that I should not anxiously look about, for He is my God. He will strengthen me, Help me and uphold me with His righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10 (NASB)
Here is a promise that God has given me, I pray that I will bury it in my heart and meditate and remind me of this. As I try and not rely on people to bring me happiness.
Be a good day.
Some questions have been asked. Do I feel that I have missed out? Do I have Victory? Do I have peace? Is there no Satisfaction when I’m in the presence of the Lord? Do I want spiritual freedom from my life?
I stopped for a moment at Do I have victory as this has really blown my hair back. This is what I thought of victory – I thought I have victory when I’m a person that reads my bible and on constant spiritual highs. Please don’t get me wrong I still think you can have victory in the times when you read your bible and pray, as God reveals so much to one during those times. I must admit I thought it was hard for me to have victory when things in my life look so dim and it seems that this is all I have been facing lately.
But when you spiritually down, victory seem so far away and you feel depressed and guilty that you did not spend time with God. Sometimes these feelings even keep you further away from God and you oblivious to think you can’t have victory.
But when Heather mentioned victory begins with a cry for help to God. I was amazed; here I thought I can only have victory when my ducks is a row. But I was liberated to think I can have victory when I only cry to God, I don’t have to say a fancy prayer and quote scriptures. I just have to humble myself and cry for help – then I have victory in my life.
Is that not amazing, that once we on our knees and crying out to God that we have victory.
I must say I was humbled having to think back of all the influence I had in my life. My life was not rosy, I come from a back round that there was not enough. I won’t say poor; I most probably had more to eat than the child in
The people that played a big role in my life one of them is my mother. Having made certain decisions for me that she thought I was not capable off. I was angry at her for a few things, for example choosing a school for me different to that of my primary school friends. Looking back now, I think I know exactly why she made that choice for me. I was angry at her for making a stupid rule like “you must be home before the sunsets”. I was angry at her making me attend Sunday school at the age of Fifteen, and right now I’m glad as it has kept me focused. And that I was never too old for a hiding, she never gave me a hiding after the age of thirteen but the she made it known to me that I was not to big to get a hiding. . I was angry for her choosing our pastor as our father in the absence of my dad. I did not agree with this and at the time I thought it was very weak of her to choose my pastor to be the one to speak or discipline us at times. But I have learned that how important it is for a child to have the influence of a man. I’m thankful to God for a mother that prayed for me all the time and still does, though she has Alzheimer’s her prayers are still carrying me and will carry me for the rest of my life. My mom use to say that she prayed all the bad boyfriends away, she would get on her knees and before long something is revealed to me or the guy dissappears (this was not good for my self image - but i think it protect my self worth).
I’m glad for my pastor’s wife, most probably the woman beside my mom that had the most impact in my life that listened and guided me to put God first. She took the role as my day-mother, when my mom had to go and work for us.
I thank God for sending me seasonal friends (the ones that was there and had to move) to carry me through the hard times. Like my missionary friend Sally, that helped me on how to be the best mom that I could be. My friend Jenny Banks who prayed me through my toughest spiritual year. Jenny still prays for me everyday.
I’m thankful to God for making me sensitive to the Holy Spirit at times when I was let a strayed or at times that I was tempted to make the wrong choices. I thank God for his blessings in my life. One of the biggest blessings in my life and I know that I could not do this with out the guidance of God Was choosing my husband that has God’s best interest at heart. A husband that understands me and sometimes gives me the push that I need. Most of all I thank God for my Sanity and keeping my cool with the kids when things were really tuff
It is my aspiration to be the kind of mother that my mother was, to be able to make the right decision for my children even though they might not like me and to constantly everyday pray for them. To be a woman of influence as my pastors wife was. To be a best friend no matter how brief and to pray constantly for all my friends.That I can teach my children about Jesus Christ, so that they can be guided by the Holy Spirit on a day to day basis. When they ready for marriage that they can make the right choice in a spouse.
